Warden Kain (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
in_death_sacrifice) wrote2016-09-11 02:36 am
in_death_sacrifice) wrote2016-09-11 02:36 am
Fade Rift Inbox
"Could that be true?" Kain hopes that by having this conversation, there's a chance at changing all of this. He can't stop looking at those last chilling words, the words of someone who knows he's lost, but begging and pleading for release from that suffering. It's not something he'd want to burden anyone with.
It all sinks in very suddenly. He knew all along, of course, after all the letters are addressed to one person alone. But somehow he'd hoped he could have spared her all of this. Somehow, he'd thought maybe some future version of himself had... given her the letters. Foolish. No. The things she's saying... the way this has all gone so far...
"Inessa. She... kept them. Even after I..." No, he can't say it. Death in itself isn't the problem, it's the type of death. "Even then. ...Ness, no... I can't let this happen, I can't do this to her..."
It all sinks in very suddenly. He knew all along, of course, after all the letters are addressed to one person alone. But somehow he'd hoped he could have spared her all of this. Somehow, he'd thought maybe some future version of himself had... given her the letters. Foolish. No. The things she's saying... the way this has all gone so far...
"Inessa. She... kept them. Even after I..." No, he can't say it. Death in itself isn't the problem, it's the type of death. "Even then. ...Ness, no... I can't let this happen, I can't do this to her..."
"Then do not. Use this." Wren's chin tips up, almost in challenge. "Such opportunities are rare, and they are not cheaply-given. It cost her to return this to you."
Existing alone had cost Inessa plenty.
"I do not deliver it lightly. I should not have at all, did I not believe the cause worthwhile."
Existing alone had cost Inessa plenty.
"I do not deliver it lightly. I should not have at all, did I not believe the cause worthwhile."
"It cost her?" Kain feels his pulse quicken as she says those words, as he realizes that he may not be the only one to suffer in this future world. He can't even bear to imagine it... himself dead, and her left to deal with... whatever other dreadful things might be in store. "This makes for grim hearing, but... you did the right thing. I would rather know."
He lowers his head a moment, running the possibilities through his mind. What if it's too late and... what if he never gets to say these things in these letters. "Please." He looks back up. "What else do you know of what happened- will happen? Anything you can tell me? Does the world... do we fall to Corypheus?"
He lowers his head a moment, running the possibilities through his mind. What if it's too late and... what if he never gets to say these things in these letters. "Please." He looks back up. "What else do you know of what happened- will happen? Anything you can tell me? Does the world... do we fall to Corypheus?"
"Venatori control everything south of the Imperium. Blight takes what famine and tyranny do not. The Inquisition dies in the Deep Roads."
A matter of fact recollection, because that’s what they are: Facts. She’s already written the reports, recounted it often enough to inure. After a month in that place, there’s no shock left to the telling,
(Not to these pieces, broad and impersonal and strained of that which can wound her own tongue.)
"We have recovered intelligence. It is actionable — I cannot say whether it shall be enough. But to give in to despair is to lose this war before it has begun."
It already has.
A matter of fact recollection, because that’s what they are: Facts. She’s already written the reports, recounted it often enough to inure. After a month in that place, there’s no shock left to the telling,
(Not to these pieces, broad and impersonal and strained of that which can wound her own tongue.)
"We have recovered intelligence. It is actionable — I cannot say whether it shall be enough. But to give in to despair is to lose this war before it has begun."
It already has.
"Then... we have more to worry about than just personal concerns, if all of this is true." Although he's going to agonize over this for a long while to come. He can't help but obsess over the worst. But if what she's saying is true... the Inquisition is about to go down a very dark path. One which it may not come back from.
He sighs heavily. He fears they're all doomed. All bound to fall, one by one. "Right... we must take action, that's all we can do. You're sure that it gives us some chance to win? To change what you saw?"
How can something be changed that's already happened and been witnessed, experienced even? Or will be happening. The whole matter of traveling through time is hard to wrap his head around.
He sighs heavily. He fears they're all doomed. All bound to fall, one by one. "Right... we must take action, that's all we can do. You're sure that it gives us some chance to win? To change what you saw?"
How can something be changed that's already happened and been witnessed, experienced even? Or will be happening. The whole matter of traveling through time is hard to wrap his head around.
"An army is made of persons. It is as much your duty to care for yourself as for those around you."
Do as I say, not as I do writ large. Even so:
"I am certain of little in this world, save the work of my own hands. We must all raise our hands together in this." A short shake of the head. "If you fear you've run afoul of the lyrium, I bid you speak with me, I have —"
"— Handled such matters, before; I may provide counsel. Consider it repayment for the warning."
Do as I say, not as I do writ large. Even so:
"I am certain of little in this world, save the work of my own hands. We must all raise our hands together in this." A short shake of the head. "If you fear you've run afoul of the lyrium, I bid you speak with me, I have —"
"— Handled such matters, before; I may provide counsel. Consider it repayment for the warning."
He does often forget the whole 'caring for one's self' part, usually too preoccupied with defending others.
Kain nods grimly when she mentions that, knowing that it's entirely important for him to have someone there who can... deal with him if he ever does end up infected.
"I hope it truly doesn't come to that, but I promise you. I'll seek you out should I become tainted by it. I don't want to risk anyone else's life. I won't harm Inessa. I... I didn't cause her harm, did I? In what you saw?"
Kain nods grimly when she mentions that, knowing that it's entirely important for him to have someone there who can... deal with him if he ever does end up infected.
"I hope it truly doesn't come to that, but I promise you. I'll seek you out should I become tainted by it. I don't want to risk anyone else's life. I won't harm Inessa. I... I didn't cause her harm, did I? In what you saw?"
"Physically? I've few details to offer. But your absence? Without doubt."
At times she is given to think little stings so deeply as that — but that's a foolish notion. A child's. The world is full of other, greater hurts.
Get stabbed a few times, and you know absence is a real pussy answer.
"Nothing is permanent. Do what you can, use what is available to you. And hold to those you might." A gesture to the tentflap. "If there is nothing else, Warden?"
At times she is given to think little stings so deeply as that — but that's a foolish notion. A child's. The world is full of other, greater hurts.
Get stabbed a few times, and you know absence is a real pussy answer.
"Nothing is permanent. Do what you can, use what is available to you. And hold to those you might." A gesture to the tentflap. "If there is nothing else, Warden?"
"So she's at least... she's all right?"
Though he has no doubt it wouldn't go well, if he were... really gone. He's never been too afraid or bothered by the fact of his own death, as a Warden it's something to face earlier than most have to. But still... he hates to think of what could come from him dying. Especially in such an awful way.
"I'll do everything in my power to prevent this future from happening. Anything at all. I can't... I can't..." He looks down at the letters, at that last one with the scrawl that only hints at the way his mind had broken. Will break. Could break. Trying to think of a future that had happened, and yet hasn't... is confusing. "Just that... I appreciate you telling me this, Ser. It makes for grim hearing, but I would rather know."
Though he has no doubt it wouldn't go well, if he were... really gone. He's never been too afraid or bothered by the fact of his own death, as a Warden it's something to face earlier than most have to. But still... he hates to think of what could come from him dying. Especially in such an awful way.
"I'll do everything in my power to prevent this future from happening. Anything at all. I can't... I can't..." He looks down at the letters, at that last one with the scrawl that only hints at the way his mind had broken. Will break. Could break. Trying to think of a future that had happened, and yet hasn't... is confusing. "Just that... I appreciate you telling me this, Ser. It makes for grim hearing, but I would rather know."
[When Kain awakens from his latest bout of resting, there's a small box at the bed stand, with a set of sun-catchers inside. And a note.]
For your new quarters, wherever they may be.
I Ness
For your new quarters, wherever they may be.
[That definitely takes him by surprise, as Kain wakes up and starts looking through the box curiously.He picks up one of the sun-catchers to admire it. A faint smile even appears, something that hasn't happened in a long time. It's been a difficult month. He hasn't really had a chance to even figure out a living space: the infirmary has basically been that for the time being.]
I'm at the kitchen as we speak. Have you eaten?
No, I haven't yet. Should I meet you there? I've... I want to see you.
[He wants to thank her, but he thinks he wants to do so in person.]
[He wants to thank her, but he thinks he wants to do so in person.]
[There's a smile in her voice when she response.]
Please do, if you're cleared to move around. We'll be waiting.
Please do, if you're cleared to move around. We'll be waiting.
I should be able to make it. I'll be there soon.
[He's still walking slowly, and with the aid of the crutch that Christine had supplied him, but at least he is allowed to get out more now. Within reason. He's still awaiting the moment he's cleared to do more. Soon enough, he's made his way to the kitchen and is looking for Inessa.]
[He's still walking slowly, and with the aid of the crutch that Christine had supplied him, but at least he is allowed to get out more now. Within reason. He's still awaiting the moment he's cleared to do more. Soon enough, he's made his way to the kitchen and is looking for Inessa.]
[Just as long as Inessa isn't going to catch flak for enabling him when he should be resting. But it has been a long recovery, and Garahel has missed him. Herself, as well. Surely a short walk to catch up and refresh himself won't be a strain, will it? She's lefty wondering as she prepares the tea, also setting out a small box of those Orlesian tiny cakes that he seems to have approved of, as well as healthier fare. As Garahel perks up and barks, she glances over a shoulder with a smile.]
It's good to see you upright and mobile, Kain. Garahel, don't get in his way.
It's good to see you upright and mobile, Kain. Garahel, don't get in his way.
[Kain is moving slowly, but he's wincing a little less these days. The pain only comes every so often now, it's rare enough that he no longer feels as... ruled by it as he'd felt before.]
It's good to be this way, as opposed to the alternative. Though I've you to thank for alleviating my boredom. And... well...
[He has no clue what he's doing. But after hobbling over toward her, he settles in right beside her and... moves in to hug her. It's oddly impulsive for him, for sure.]
...thank you.
It's good to be this way, as opposed to the alternative. Though I've you to thank for alleviating my boredom. And... well...
[He has no clue what he's doing. But after hobbling over toward her, he settles in right beside her and... moves in to hug her. It's oddly impulsive for him, for sure.]
...thank you.
[It's definitely unexpected, but after a moment of surprise, Inessa returns it.]
You're quite welcome. I've been worried about you, and I know how frustrating a long recovery can be. That's why I hope you're not eager to repeat the experience. But I've said my peace about that before, so I won't burden you with it again.
[Garahel leans in against Kain and nuzzles him, gently.]
Garahel has missed his playmate.
You're quite welcome. I've been worried about you, and I know how frustrating a long recovery can be. That's why I hope you're not eager to repeat the experience. But I've said my peace about that before, so I won't burden you with it again.
[Garahel leans in against Kain and nuzzles him, gently.]
Garahel has missed his playmate.
I really appreciate it. The gift you left me, it... they're perfect. And I appreciate... well... you.
[He reddens slightly.]
I mean... that is... I appreciate what you've done for me over the past month. You've made it all more bearable.
[He can't promise this is the last time he'll ever end up like this, but he's definitely not looking forward to it happening again anytime soon. He'll just have to be stronger.]
I've missed Garahel too. Sorry I've not been around to play, boy... but I will be soon, I promise.
[He reddens slightly.]
I mean... that is... I appreciate what you've done for me over the past month. You've made it all more bearable.
[He can't promise this is the last time he'll ever end up like this, but he's definitely not looking forward to it happening again anytime soon. He'll just have to be stronger.]
I've missed Garahel too. Sorry I've not been around to play, boy... but I will be soon, I promise.
[Garahel seems somewhat mollified, as long as he can get Kain to scratch behind his ears. That's important.
Inessa manages a self-conscious though genuine smile when she sits down, placing the mugs before them. She made sure to stock whatever tea Kain seems more partial to.]
I--well, thank you. I'm glad to hear it. Let me know if you'd like assistance hanging them up. The infirmary could use a little brightening, anyway, and when you move on from it, just make sure to place them somewhere with a lot of light.
[She pauses, letting the mug warm her hands.]
...if you have other plans, ignore this, but I ought mention that there are still rooms available near that which I share with Ciri. The Wardens aren't clustered like we where, but...I miss it.
Inessa manages a self-conscious though genuine smile when she sits down, placing the mugs before them. She made sure to stock whatever tea Kain seems more partial to.]
I--well, thank you. I'm glad to hear it. Let me know if you'd like assistance hanging them up. The infirmary could use a little brightening, anyway, and when you move on from it, just make sure to place them somewhere with a lot of light.
[She pauses, letting the mug warm her hands.]
...if you have other plans, ignore this, but I ought mention that there are still rooms available near that which I share with Ciri. The Wardens aren't clustered like we where, but...I miss it.
[Kain is more than happy to provide ear-scratches, of course. After a bit of this, he finally returns attention to Inessa and the tea, which he starts slowly sipping at.]
I'd like that if you could. I'd really like that...
[He looks at her thoughtfully, unsure at the moment what he wants to do.]
I miss what we had back in Skyhold. Our camp was... it was ours. I don't feel that way here. Of course, I've not seen much outside the infirmary, but even so... [He takes another sip.] I may consider it, for practical reasons. [No matter what he does he ought to have a small dwelling of sorts for when he absolutely needs to be in town. But only that.] But I also... I don't know. This city feels so... confining to me. I hope you understand. I'm not used to places like this. During my time as a Warden, I was on the move so much, tents were my dwelling place. And even back home, well... it wasn't like this.
I'd like that if you could. I'd really like that...
[He looks at her thoughtfully, unsure at the moment what he wants to do.]
I miss what we had back in Skyhold. Our camp was... it was ours. I don't feel that way here. Of course, I've not seen much outside the infirmary, but even so... [He takes another sip.] I may consider it, for practical reasons. [No matter what he does he ought to have a small dwelling of sorts for when he absolutely needs to be in town. But only that.] But I also... I don't know. This city feels so... confining to me. I hope you understand. I'm not used to places like this. During my time as a Warden, I was on the move so much, tents were my dwelling place. And even back home, well... it wasn't like this.
I think I understand. The city itself is a little overwhelming, but Circle quarters are familiar enough, for me. I just wish the former Circle in question wasn't the Gallows, of all places.
[She sighs, then takes a sip. The Gallows was the worst of the worst, a terrible history that didn't begin with Merediths' reign. But it is what it is, and they have to deal with it.]
Would it be easier for you if you staked a claim below the roost? Potato would be pleased for the proximity, and you would have a means to get away if you need it. Though I would hope you don't claim all of her time.
[She sighs, then takes a sip. The Gallows was the worst of the worst, a terrible history that didn't begin with Merediths' reign. But it is what it is, and they have to deal with it.]
Would it be easier for you if you staked a claim below the roost? Potato would be pleased for the proximity, and you would have a means to get away if you need it. Though I would hope you don't claim all of her time.
I don't like what I've seen of the Gallows. It's not Skyhold. [He sighs. He'd even somewhat grown fond of the place, even if it wasn't 'home' for very long.] I just... long to be back in the mountains. I've always felt that, anytime I've explored such a place...
But that's not a bad idea, I suppose. As it is, Potato and I have extensive training to do, as soon as possible. I hope she'll still accept me...
But that's not a bad idea, I suppose. As it is, Potato and I have extensive training to do, as soon as possible. I hope she'll still accept me...
She will, if you offer her sufficient amounts of treats and grooming.
[Inessa then stares down at her tea, her voice quiet.]
I know how you feel about the mountains, but please remember we have a duty. That has to supersede our preferences, or our sacrifices will be in vain. I--we--need you here, at least often enough that you can participate.
[Inessa then stares down at her tea, her voice quiet.]
I know how you feel about the mountains, but please remember we have a duty. That has to supersede our preferences, or our sacrifices will be in vain. I--we--need you here, at least often enough that you can participate.
Edited 2017-06-15 14:33 (UTC)
I’ll be sure to stock up on treats for my next visit, in that case. I hope it’s enough to win her affections back...
[He’s not been able to go all that way to see the griffons yet, and he’s definitely restless to do so. Maybe soon, just to at least groom and be by Potato’s side.]
Ah… don’t worry, Inessa. [He hesitates, then reaches to place a hand atop hers, then just as quickly moves it away.] I’ve no intention to disappear completely. I just need… a place to escape to, when the city becomes too stifling for me. I’ll still keep some sort of place here.
[He’s not been able to go all that way to see the griffons yet, and he’s definitely restless to do so. Maybe soon, just to at least groom and be by Potato’s side.]
Ah… don’t worry, Inessa. [He hesitates, then reaches to place a hand atop hers, then just as quickly moves it away.] I’ve no intention to disappear completely. I just need… a place to escape to, when the city becomes too stifling for me. I’ll still keep some sort of place here.
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